Found my blue hoodie. Ruined it.

Most important bulletin in years: There is now a craft/antique shop located on the road to the Mill called: DUMPLIN' HOLLER.
I don't have the words.
Clearly someone drained my brainwaves and wrote down the two words that most encapsulate me and carved them into a sign.
Makes me want to be cheeks.
Second most important bulletin in years: I was eating my cucumber and hummus and doing the-- beating Adam at-- the crossword at Joe's Inn yesterday when my friend Ben, who is the bartender, strolled up with what appeared to be a cup of chocolate milk. Wasn't. He proceeded to explain that instead of receiving a shipment of chocolate milk, they received liquid chocolate ice cream mixture.
And I got to drink it.
Was so naughty feeling.
Delish.
Also, the "Lord of the Rings" application on Photoshop makes you look like you have a flashlight in your liver.
Made chicken fajitas with Ginnie the other night. I think I was actually a little helpful and not quite so underfoot this time. Though I was completely stumped when she offhandedly instructed me to slice the chicken breasts in half length-wise- from the side. I just stood there holding the knife and staring at the four breasts until she realized I had no idea what to do and showed me.
Slept with my reluctant lover, Ned, for about ten minutes the other night.
What have I done? Know I had a lot to write about and now cannot remember.
Oh.
I ate lobster. It was excellent, but I must confess the real joy of the process was shredding apart the shell and extracting the chubby meat. I got to do most everyone's at the table. As a result, my shells bucket was overflowing.
Also, there is a reality show on BBC-TV that is a competition to determine who will play Maria in the West End production of "The Sound of Music." One of the competitors performed "Cabaret" clad in a sequined red tissue mounted on the crotch of a male ensemble member.
Might make new word: ensembler.
I am not one to boast of selecting fabulous audition material, but really.
Starving. I am supposed to select where we go out for dinner tonight, and I HATE that. I always know exactly where I want to go when it is just me. Should not open that can of worms.
My brother, who hasn't smiled since kindergarten, was recently spotted grinning in front of the fridge. We discovered he was looking at the picture of me upside down in the river.
Priceless.
Painted the back wall of the Empire today in "Antique Mahoghany." Find it funny that the name of the shade used for the back wall of cinderblocks is "Antique Mahoghany."
Is that how you spell that?
Third important bulletin- SEAN WILLIAMS IS A GRYFFINDOR.*
Adam said he tried to discipline Betty Draper the other day by placing her under the faucet of running water. Instead of being alarmed, she went into limp pussy mode and hung there with her characteristic disinterested scowl. I reminded him that those kittens had three baths a day when they were small so that will not work as punishment.
Not sure what to recommend as an alternative. Perhaps fire.
Everyone should shave their housecat at least once.
I am so excited about the beach. We are now amply armed with crosswords and books. Which is all I really do at the beach anyway. Except this time I have to compete with Joseph in the tanning-off. Which will be a fairly interesting race until Sam arrives and is Ethiopian in half an hour.
Also I PLAY at the beach. Which is why I typically beach in board shorts and a tank top. One is just asking for a comprimising situation when one is going to tumble around in the waves in pink thread and a couple of eye-patches.
My brother and I used to play Baywatch when we were little. I think this time that Joseph will not object too strenuously to being the victim so that Sam and I can shout things like "Daphne! I've got this! Back me up!" and drag him to shore.
Maggie had stated firmly that she will do nothing but stand in the inch high water with her hands on her hips staring off to sea. This is perfect for Maggie. Probably she will shift her weight to one leg and lift one hand to shade her eyes as she squints to read one of those helicopter banners too. That is what those standing beach people do.
What should it say. I should have one flown over.
It will say, MARGARET GET IN THE WATER YOU OLD WOMAN. Or, JOSEPH YOUR HAIR HAS LOOKED BETTER!
Or, ADAM DID YOU REMEMBER TO TOUCH UP THAT RED SPOT IN THE SKY ON THE SHOEMAKER SET????
This will be fun. I welcome more suggestions.




*I don't really think that, but he was apparently very disapproving of his assignment. So if his mother shows this to him, I have typed ample blather between that statement and this footnote to keep him from seeing the explanation.