My kitten just got really excited.
So aforementioned wiry young actor has joined the navy.
What one has to do to join the navy is as follows:
a. heaps of paperwork regarding all previous employment, marriage certification, resumes, vocal range, eye color, how many times you blew your nose in the past year, etc.
b. a seven hour standardized test on basic subjects like algebra, reading, and a whole new alphabet that has nothing to do with anything and features pairings like M: Mule Hickey and S: sinusitis.
c. an intense physical examination. Shots, sweating, lots of probing in all probability. I refuse to inquire any further into that subject.
d. having a DEAR CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND drive you out to the middle of an abandoned strip of run down hotels in the middle of a sewage strewn field next to the airport in the middle of the night and leave you for dead.
You are then fetched at dawn's crack by a bus from God knows where and driven to the nearest army base where you are ridiculed for practicing vegetarianism, your fine humor is completely misunderstood , and for all your trouble you are resplendently assigned to man the naval gift shop.
I would rather chew on a Rotunda.
Anyway, I am very pleased for this actor. And I think I am getting an assault rifle out of the deal.
Tonight I tried to drink champagne. I really did. I drank one cup by staring at Jan and repeating to myself, "If she can do it, humans can do it."
But then I got around to my second cup and just could not get past the fact that I was drinking Lysol, so I stopped and gorged myself on chubby grapes and some oniony glue-ish dip spread onto Wheat Thins.
Nancy really enjoys her ribbed tops.
Today Brett referred to me as a nasty fat rodent and I beamed for hours. This is something I don't have the fingerpower to go into explaining.
I really love Hardee's sweet tea.