The Last Five Years

1. Spanish rap really gets me going.

2. Why is the Statue of Liberty green? Who picked that? I will look it up.

So this morning, after I overslept and missed going to see a show with Sam, I took a LENGTHY shower, wherein I washed everything-- oh no no no- first of all, when I opened my eyes this morning, I thought, "I feel chilly." And then I started wide awake and grinned like a monkey and was so happy. Pranced directly into the kitchen to stand in front of the giant window and feel the breeze. Because feeling nip in the wind like that reminds me of fall and Christmas, which I love. And I got very happy.

But then shower. And put on my tomato shirt that has profanity on it, and my cute blue skirt and my ever present orthopedic shoes and minced off to meet Sam at his apartment. Unfortunately, the subway is completely broken. We go one stop and then stall for about twenty minutes. Which to me is fine. I wear my sunglasses in the subway so as to stare at and analyze whomever I wish without appearing rude. But the man next to me was furious. Stamping his feet, swearing, bouncing up and down, storming back and forth. Finally got off. The train immediately resumed.

Sam and I go to find him an orange juice so he doesn't "kill everyone." We then drive to the outskirts of Philadelphia where we are scheduled to drop off a few boxes at his friend Alyse's parents' house to hold until after he gets back from his winter theater gig. In the car on the way there, we stop at the first Burger King we find. My soul rejoices at the first slurp of my french fries. I get a veggie burger, thanks to Scott. I am immediately in a better mood because now there are spaces between buildings.

We drive for about an hour. I announce that I am going to be an angry woman unless I get a diet coke. We discuss how Alyse's mother will no doubt try to force some lunch down us and be overly helpful in every way. Sam calls her to reassure her that we have already eaten and are about an hour away.

We arrive, I am clapsed to Nancy's bosom in a hug straightaway. She urges us to go "attend to ourselves in the lavatory, and then come out for HOAGIES!" She serves us meatwad sandwiches the size of my calf -and we all know how large that is, don't we Chase? We cannot eat these very easily because of the recent Burger King, but we try. We are there for about an hour and a half, and during this time, Nancy does not draw breath. She talks. We chew. And smile and have manners.

We then leave under the pretense of going to watch a rehearsal in central Philly, but in reality just drive there, park, get out and walk around to look at all the sights. The historical sights. We go into where the Declaration of Independence took place. We are given a free tour by a tour guide man who treated all of the tourists as though they were new recruits to boot camp. If you leaned against a drape wrong you knew you would be dropping and giving fifty. Or shot.

Before we go into this place, we have to be searched by the cops. As I hand over my backpack, thereby removing the strap from across my chest, I remember about my shirt. The second I do, the large burly policeman begins reading it aloud. I am stuck still, wondering whether he will be highly insulted and demand me to leave and certainly not go into Liberty Hall or whatever it was with that bit of profanity on my breasts, or be amused.

He then bellows with laughter. He encourages all of his cop buddies to read it as well. So that was a hit.

I have now been to Philadelphia. Remembered today that I have also been to Massachusettes. Liked Cape Cod.

I'm pooped.