My hair REALLY hurts.

Some people may not understand what I mean by this. Maggie does. Isn't my hair, I suppose, but my scalp. Also might be more noticeable in people who have hair weighing the same as a backhoe.

And it's not dirty. Just washed yesterday.

I don't wash my hair everyday- some people find this gross. But it takes my hair 8 hours to dry and every time I wash it I get comments like "What happened to you?" every time I see someone.

Betty Draper Droop went to the dentist today. Didn't. Typing without thinking. The vet.

She was declared in pristine health, which secretly made me feel proud as I managed to raise at least that one without it contracting camel nuclear cirrhosis or something. No feline HIV, no nothing. Got her nails trimmed.

Might look into how long it takes to become a vet. If this is something I can get done in the afternoons, I might be into that.

At this vet on Patterson Ave. there are at least thirty tanks and cages in the lobby containing beautiful cats and buff colored kittens, a big ugly turtle, lots of fat snakes and fish the size of footballs.

I immediately signed Surprise up for a visit next week. At this visit I am hoping they will inform me of his species. Also he is now registered officially as Surprise Honaker. I feel this has an interesting ring to it.

Jason has begun going to the chiropractor. I feel this merits a mention.

Tomorrow I am going to make cinnamon rolls. In my house. For the Fourth of July. So if anyone comes by before seven people come by, they may have one. These buns will not have raisins and nuts. Waste of dessert, putting fruit in.

My mother told me I used to call bananas "Ba-nahs." In a British accent. Not on purpose, but I was a baby and didn't know. Also said "leyow." This is still say from time to time without thinking. Also sometimes I confuse green and orange when I am talking.

Sometimes I just would like to throw things at people when they are unsuspecting. Like pillows. Some people would not like this.

Everyone should go to Stage 1 if for no other reason than to sample the buffet.

Bev Kniffen has made this chocolate chip bundt cake for years and it is moist like juicy kitten polenta and amazing. And she makes it for sale behind the lobby bar.

Side note- I do not like saying that word "bundt" to people. If I go somewhere and order a small bundt cake, I will get very nervous and embarrassed and order it by gesturing toward it instead of saying anything.

When my hair hurts this badly it makes my teeth sweat.

If anyone wants to have splendid dessert tonight, call me. I want it, and am not sure where I am going to get it. What I want is that heap of cake, ice cream and strawberries from Strawberry St.

Everybody should go and get the Style this week to view the picture of Scott glaring imperiously at Five Guys.

I don't know if I was supposed to say that's what he was looking at. I am sure he was also gazing at the visions of boats and heroic deeds of his naval ancestors that are trouncing around in his brain.

So sorry.

Now Surprise is napping on my lap and may prevent me from having a shower.

I am a very skilled neck-hair cutterer. In case anyone needs one of those.

Also one time we shaved my cat and gave him a flesh saddle.