Children in the arts.

Well, today I went down to the GOVERNOR'S SCHOOL FOR THE ARTS AND TECHNOLOGY. I go there @ three times a year to eat sandwiches and carrot sticks and pretend to adjudicate.

I hobbled up to the door swearing and huffing out clouds of sleet, cursing Brandon, clutching my bag of cheddar rice cakes in my numb black fingers only to be greeted by a teacher-ish woman wearing spectacles and kindly instructed where to go to sign up for my audition. I did not care. I just wanted to be let in the building. 

So I go in, immediately trip and crumple to a heap on the steps. 

We find lots of donuts. Also nasty coffee and bananas so ripe they could easily pass for Kermit's britches cargo.

I then spot a woman I have known for three years working the granola bar and finger napkin display. I say hello, she seems surprised that I am "still in high school."  This is all fabulous.

I need to call Chase and tell him I was three hours later than I thought I'd be. I will do that later. 

I get a very soft bagel, which I resist pressing to my cheeks. Whenever I am fortunate enough to encounter a particularly plump and pliable serving of bread I like to press it to my cheeks.

I put jelly on it. The jelly comes in this squirtable container with a narrow thin slot at the top. 

Then we go down to audition the chillins. 

We hear lots of songs in foreign languages, hear many monologues about how "mama just didn't understand," and watch many abrupt crosses down right. We watch all the monologues very respectfully, and then Brandon gives a helpful, stimulating note, like, "And this time, when you tell Shelley that you don't believe in having two makeup mirrors in your locker, do it like you have a brick up your sphincter."

One young person elects to perform Acts I-XIV from "The Lark" as her monologue. I was very suspicious of this. 

And then in strolled a small boy with two very large teeth, a trim plaid shirt and crisp khaki pants. He said "boner" twice in his monologue. This was a little upsetting. The child relished this you could tell. After each "boner," he would give a significant dramatic pause during which he would re-lubricate the area between his teeth and beneath his nose with his tongue. 

Then came the dance auditions. In came the dancers. Attired as expected (each) in jazz sneakers, body stocking, footless tights, ankle socks, leg warmers, thigh highs, cotton long underwear chopped off at the groin, three leotards, wrist tape, toe tape, ankle tape, chin tape, and PLENTY of focus.

Brandon leads them through a combination as follows:  Step right, step together, step left, pas de bouree, releve, rotisserie, one, two, three, and PIROUETTE! PIROUETTE! and mademoiselle, and mademoiselle, and GEMUTLICHKEIT, BIERGARTEN, FABERGE, ENFLAMBE, AND POSE!!!!!

I think several of the children may have ground three or four millimeters off their enamel from the force with which they struck their final smiles. 

Anyway, then they all went home and Brandon presented Brett and I with these small dollar sized pieces of paper on which were printed: AUDRA HONAKER/BRETT AMBLER, IN HONOR OF ADJUDICATING AT THE APPOMATTOX REGIONAL........

We returned them to Brandon for recycling.