Fizz.

Well, I have successfully been hit by a car.

And I'm fine. Will have (gleefully) a lovely bruisy gash on my left thigh to show everyone next weekend. Hope it lasts that long. I know you're excited, Ginnie.

But was really nothing serious.

Really, Mom. And Moms 2-10.

LA is kind of blah. In my personal opinion. Looks like somebody with a relatively mediocre imagination decided to build a city out of Legos. Neutral-toned Legos.

I got off the plane from Chicago Tuesday night. Got on the plane to LA Wednesday night. Planes feeling to me for the moment like elevators.

Watched America's Next Top Model on the flight out here. Realized with shock that I don't care about it anymore.

Then promptly at dinner tonight Jake's surprise dinner guest turned out to be one of the casting directors for ANTM.

I debated becoming obsessed again and decided against it. He said if I'd been here a couple of days earlier I could have helped him work the castings tomorrow.

Oh well, that means I'm stuck going to San Diego instead.

I'm going to explore the dickens out of this hotel. Cannot remember the name of it right now. But Joseph has EVENTS to attend, so I am going to be trolling around by myself and hopefully playing in the ocean.

Jake is VERY good-looking. Smiles now, twinkles. Happy he seems happy.

Ryland is a love. We have been singing The Secret Garden and Little Shop all day. After we overruled Joseph's penchant for Alice Ripley and Renee Fleming.

We performed "238" in his den for our own amusement. Four or five of you might know what I'm talking about.

We went to a delectable establishment where you can acquire for $1.50 two cookies of your choice with the ice cream of your choice serving as filling sandwiched between them.

My body almost went into shock. I realized I hadn't had ice cream since July.

Then we went to a boutique that sells all the fancy designer duds for almost free and Joseph and Ryland played dolly-dress-up with me. Some of these hemlines. Absurd.

I am now back at their apartment (which is lovely), as I think I am coming down with nuclear bronchitis and would rather spend the evening watching any of their glorious array of dvds than sit at a bar and watch them drink those drinks that look like tall thin glasses full of swamp.

Chicago is BEAUTIFUL. I'd been once before but it was very cold and when I am very cold I enjoy everything about as much as I enjoy necking with a shark.

But this weather (according to my two friends who live there) was the nicest in months.

I walked and walked. That is, I have decided, my favorite way to see and learn new places. Just get dropped off in the middle of nowhere, be told which way is east, and then be left for dead.

I examined all of downtown, was almost run down by a Segue tour, napped in Grant Park, walked for miles along the Lake, which was the most beautiful blue-green water I have ever seen, staggered up and down Navy Pier, then came out onto a beach. Right there in the middle of a huge city. Saw a production of Cabaret in a giant theatre full of red crushed velvet and glittering enormous crystal chandeliers.

Every time I see a production of "Cabaret," I violently want to be in a production of "Cabaret" for the next two weeks. As any of the girls. Or the monkey.

Sat beside a lovely older couple who three minutes after sitting down struck up a conversation with me that went on for forty-five minutes and culminated with them asking if they could take me out for dinner following the show and me giving them information about the Barksdale Theatre and Spelling Bee.

There were enough tears during this curtain call to comfortably house a whale for a month.

I am told by my friend Michael who is in the show that after curtain call most evenings, the sobbing cast members usually adjourn to the neighboring bar and drown their sorrows and try to forget the horrible experiences they had living through World War II.

Wanted to remind them: Act.

Drove to Indiana. Because at one point during my driven tour with my friends, the driver informs me that "Indiana is only a few blocks that way." I bite my lip, then go ahead and ask that he drive me over there just so I can say I've gone.

Didn't have time to work in Wisconsin.

Saw Hyde Park. Saw where the Olympics main stadium will be built if Chicago gets to host them in 2016. This will be like the Olympics being held behind 7 1/2.

Saw so many boats. The boats looked like they were cars in a parking lot.

Walked and walked.

Found a Barnes & Noble. Went in and read an autobiography I've been curious about but didn't want to spend the money on. Managed to complete it in a brief enough time that no employee got suspicious.

Rode the Red Line to a friend's apartment where I ate burritos and sausage and sat in the floor. Played cards. Miss playing cards.

Swang in some swings. Talked to Riley, which was great.

Went to the zoo. Saw a lion, a tiger, a leopard and a snow leopard. Got very excited I was seeing a lion because of "The Lion King." Between Riley and myself there was a lot of squealing, pointing and exclaiming "OH LOOK!"

Requested that I be driven to Buckingham Fountain. Which is lovely and the last time I was there was not in season and was therefore just a giant empty cement pot.

But this night it was lit up beautifully. And the view from its east side is wonderful. I got a very lovely gentleman to dance the waltz with me in front of the fountain.

Then. THEN.

I brushed my hair and teeth, put on my new newsie cap that Sam gave me because it makes him look like a baker, and we all went out to a swing dance club.

And THAT WAS FUN.

It is one of those things that terrify me. Being somewhere where I might be approached and spoken to by people I don't know, or asked to do something I don't really know how to do.

But did it. And got asked to dance lots of times, once by an attractive (though rather red-faced) man who said the following to me:

1. I got into dancing because I like the ladies, and they find dancing attractive.

2. You just turn off your brain. I'll do it. (secretly kind of worked)

3. Most women have a hard time turning off their brains. (Kiss my grits, asshole.)

And I had FUN. And I learned lindy-hop. And I want to learn more.

And I learned I like cranberry juice. (Adam and Maggie- there will be further discussion on this point.)

And I just loved that all these great people meet every night at all these different bars in the city and go upstairs and just dance and enjoy each other spinning and twirling and sweating to awesome swing music.

Also there is apparently blues dancing. Which, from what I can tell, involves a lot more grinding.

Next time, perhaps.

Oh, all the boys are back now.

Dixie and Pretzel have to go out to poop.